I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
