I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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