Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
