didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
