Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Life without a bra equals bliss.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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