actually, I'm a sock model
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
