tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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