you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
