the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize