the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize