The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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