Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
