I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
