these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She bit a glass in half.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
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