Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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