The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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