Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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