If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
