new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the day after is always just damage control
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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