So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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