you have to choose: penises or morals?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
