Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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