her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
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We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
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don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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