Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
