You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
