He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize