3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
