never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
