So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
