you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
