I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
