omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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