listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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