i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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