i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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