I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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