Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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