So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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