why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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