It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
