Already got asked if we're dating
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
