So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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