i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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