Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
