So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
