she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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