Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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