I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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