when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
