I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
