I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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