I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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