Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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