That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
