Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
