I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize