): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
