You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
