found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
