I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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