Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
