do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
