I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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