I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
