I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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