The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
